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The Table Read is the ninth episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 7. It is the sixty-ninth episode overall.


Production coordinator Stacy introduces Larry David to her nine-year-old daughter, Emma, and tells him Emma "has a rash on her pussy". Larry is perplexed by her use of words, but eventually figures he is being uptight, and later uses the same description with both Jerry Seinfeld and a waiter, who are very disturbed.

The Seinfeld reunion cast has their table read, where Jason Alexander borrows Larry's pen and puts it in his ear and mouth, which disgusts Larry. He refuses to accept the pen back and says Jason should replace it, but Jason gets a different one. Michael Richards is tense because his doctor says he might have Groat's Disease and he is waiting on test results; Larry assures him that an acquaintance of his, Danny Duberstein, had Groat's Disease and is fine. He promises to introduce Michael to Danny.

Larry asks Jeff Greene how to contact Danny, and Jeff informs him that Danny died from Groat's Disease. Larry gets Leon Black to pose as Danny and talk to Michael. Enjoying the ruse, Leon gives Michael a knitted hat and tells him that he must wear it at all times to avoid dying from Groat's Disease.

Emma starts texting Larry frequently. Irked by the enforced conversation, after several friendly exchanges Larry tries to deter her with a condescending text written in all caps with multiple exclamation points. Emma is deeply upset, and Stacy demands that he take Emma out to lunch and make up with her. Larry apologizes and gives Emma the pen he got from Jason, and they have a make-up hug.

Marty Funkhouser, acting on an open invitation from Jerry, attends the Seinfeld rehearsal with Danny's widow. When Michael mentions speaking to her husband, she informs him of Danny's death. Realizing he was tricked, Michael runs outside and angrily confronts Leon.

Larry notices he has a rash during the rehearsal. He consults a doctor, who asks if Larry has any idea how he got it. Larry tells him that he has "been seeing this nine-year-old girl" who "has a rash on her pussy", they fought and then made up, and he thinks he got it when they hugged. While Larry is busy texting Emma and laughing at her replies, the doctor slips out and tells the receptionist to call the police, thinking Larry is a sexual predator.