The Safe House is the second episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 8. It is the seventy-second episode overall.
Description[]
Larry David finds himself trying to get at the "chubby hubby" ice cream at the grocery store, but a woman is crying and being comforted by her friend, right in front of the ice cream section, so Larry can't get to the ice cream. He asks them to please move to the side, but they refuse, and eventually scold him. He tries to maneuver past them to get to his ice cream, only to accidentally knock down other containers of ice cream as well.
Later, Larry is at a restaurant and a man leaves his laptop with him, but never returns. When Larry is in a hurry he leaves it with a black man, and tells him to hold it for the man who left it at the restaurant.
Larry also yells at a young woman for having her dog poop on his lawn.
The older woman comforting the crying woman at the grocery store ends up coming to Larry's house the next day. She is the mother of a safe house next door for battered women, and the woman she was comforting at the grocery store was a victim of domestic violence. She asks Larry if he would consider being a friend of the safe house, and representing the good side of men, and apologizing to the women he hurt (including the woman whose dog pooped on his lawn, who turns out to also be a member of the safe house).
Larry drops by and accidentally acts rude to the women of the safe house. He apologizes to the women he hurt, but he is annoyed when the woman whose dog pooped on his lawn doesn't forgive him for yelling at her, and demands that he also apologize to her dog. This is when he meets Dale, a large and burly woman who Larry doesn't believe anyone actually beat up, and he hypothesizes that she is just staying at the safe house to get free room and board, since she looks like she could "take care of herself".
Because the women's washing machine is "f-----" as Dale says, Larry offers to let them use his washing machine.
The man who lent his computer to Larry is furious at him for giving it to a black man, since the guy never returned the laptop, but doesn't want to sound racist.
Richard Lewis is dating a burlesque dancer named Stella. Larry David and Jeff Greene think this is bizarre, so they go to see her show with Marty Funkhouser and Leon Black. Jeff, Marty and Leon are fascinated with her large breasts, but Larry is more disturbed by a mole he sees on the underside of one of her breasts, which he fears might be cancerous. When he has lunch with Richard Lewis and Stella the next day, he tells her about the mole and recommends she get it checked out. She is surprised, but not offended. Richard Lewis is angry that Larry saw her show.
Stella decides to go to the doctor. She finds out the mole is benign, but also gets the idea to get a breast reduction, which infuriates Richard Lewis since her breasts are the main reason he is dating her. He is mad at Larry for having her go to the doctor, even though a breast reduction wasn't Larry's idea.
Larry sees a black man with a similar laptop as the one he was lent, and asks where he got it. The man figures out that Larry has confused him for another black man and is offended.
Later, Larry is at his house when some of the women from the safe house arrive, including Dale. Larry foolishly asks Dale how she got to the safe house since she looks like she could take care of herself. Dale reaches back to punch Larry, but in anticipation, Larry falls on the floor and gets a black eye.
When Larry goes to the doctor about his injury, he remarks that it was "his fault", he "fell", he was "clumsy" and "he deserved it". The doctor ends up wondering if Larry is a victim of domestic violence, especially when Leon Black walks in, being rude to Larry and demanding more money. Larry tells the doctor that Leon refuses to move out of his house, and that he is scared of him because he knows all his financial information. The doctor takes this to mean that Leon and Larry are in a gay relationship and Leon is abusing him.
Later, Richard Lewis goes to the supermarket, only to run into two different women from the safe house (Dale included) crying by the same ice cream area. He reaches in for ice cream, but Dale lashes out at him. The other woman apologizes and mentions that they are from a battered women's shelter, so they have bad reactions to men. Richard Lewis asks Dale how she could have possibly been abused, since she looks like she could take care of herself. Dale smashes the ice cream freezer door on Richard's hands.
Meanwhile, Larry is at his home and gets a visit from the black man he lent the laptop to, who had kept the laptop for safe keeping after the man never returned to claim it. He gives it to Larry, and when Larry goes to put it inside, the police come and arrest the black man for domestic abuse, because they have confused him with Leon.
The episode ends with Richard Lewis in bed with Stella, the night before her breast reduction surgery, unable to touch her breasts because his hands are in casts, because of what happened with Dale and the freezer drawer.