"The Freak Book" is the fifth episode of the sixth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. It is the fifty-fifth episode overall.
Synopsis[]
Larry attends Ted Danson's birthday party and, assuming Ted would enjoy it as much as he does, gifts him The Freak Book—a book featuring people with unusual bodily features. Unlike the other nicely wrapped gifts, Larry hands it to Ted unwrapped, making it stand out even more. Meanwhile, Jeff and Susie’s gift is their daughter, Sammi, performing "Can’t Take My Eyes Off You." Unable to endure it any longer, and much to Susie's horror, Larry interrupts the performance by clapping, thinking he's doing everyone—including Sammi—a favor. Ted lacks enthusiasm for The Freak Book, and without even noticing, Larry takes it back after presenting it and, along with Jeff, becomes so engrossed in the book that they disrupt the gift opening with their uncontrollable laughter. Larry is nearly in tears.
The gift opening is suddenly disrupted by off-camera chaos. Ted’s wife, Mary, screams for someone to get off her, calling him a "freak," and accuses "some bald guy" of groping her. Horrified, Larry realizes it's Charlie—the limo driver he insisted Ted allow into the party—who's now clearly intoxicated.
Embarrassed, Larry and Cheryl quickly drag Charlie out of the party. Despite Charlie's drunken insistence that he's fine to drive, Larry firmly takes away his keys and decides he'll drive Charlie and the limo home himself. Upon arriving at Charlie’s strange house, located in a sketchy neighborhood, Larry and Cheryl witness further chaos. Charlie's wife, who uses a wheelchair, screams angrily at Charlie, then notices Cheryl and sarcastically remarks, "Well don't you look pretty," before apologizing for not being able to offer them a snack since there's "nothing in the cupboards." Suddenly, an older man's voice yells from inside—Charlie's father-in-law—triggering more shouting from Charlie’s wife as Larry and Cheryl look on in disbelief.
The next day, Larry, Jeff, Cheryl, and Susie meet at Larry and Cheryl's house before heading to the Paul McCartney concert. Larry takes this opportunity to ask Susie to switch cemetery plots with him, explaining he's desperate to avoid spending "eternity" buried next to Ted Danson. Susie flat-out refuses, angering Larry, who storms off, telling everyone he'll meet them at the concert and takes the limo by himself.
During the ride, Larry receives a panicked call from Charlie, who suddenly remembers he's supposed to pick up a celebrity client, played by tennis player John McEnroe, from the airport. Though annoyed by the inconvenience, Larry reluctantly agrees. When he arrives, Larry impersonates Charlie, putting on the limo driver’s hat and greeting his passenger with an awkward, "Hiya, Mr. McEnroe, I'm Charlie."
Larry fully embraces his role as limo driver "Charlie," adopting an overly enthusiastic and quirky attitude, peppering celebrity passenger John McEnroe with questions and cheerfully insisting that if he needs anything, he should just "let old Charlie know." Annoyed, McEnroe bluntly requests quiet. When Larry spots the cemetery where he bought plots—and which Susie refused to switch—he tells McEnroe he’ll only be a second. Inside, Larry learns from the cemetery director that if he wants to unload the plot, he'll have to sell it himself.
Returning to the limo, Larry finds an openly grieving Hispanic family climbing in alongside a bewildered John McEnroe, who demands to know what's going on and insists Larry remove them. The family doesn't speak English and refuses to leave, so Larry tries to resolve the confusion by finding out where they're headed. McEnroe, irritated but eager to get moving, agrees to give them a quick ride. On the road, Larry and the family's matriarch argue loudly over directions, escalating the family's hysteria until finally Larry pulls over and kicks them out on the side of the road.
Eventually, Larry gets McEnroe to his intended destination—which, coincidentally, is the Staples Center, exactly where Larry was headed for the Paul McCartney concert. McEnroe mentions he's attending an exclusive pre-show party. Larry, intrigued, convinces McEnroe to bring him along. Earlier, Larry had lent McEnroe the Freak Book to leaf through during the drive, and McEnroe loves it. At the party, Larry and McEnroe bond over the Freak Book, laughing uncontrollably on a couch and loudly exclaiming "Freak!" at each photo. Unfortunately, they attract unwanted attention from Paul McCartney’s then-wife, Heather Mills, herself an amputee, who overhears them and angrily confronts them, saying, "Who are you calling a freak?" Larry and McEnroe are promptly kicked out, each loudly insisting that they weren't referring to Heather Mills.